Thursday, 7 February 2013

Lately, in pictures

It has been a while since I posted some pictures of our family life here.

The children had long holidays from school, and in their last week of holidays, when the rest of Namibia had already left the coast, we decided to relax and cool down a bit for ourselves.
There have also been some creative projects passing bye..... Bob is totally into Dolfje Weerwolfje (a 7-year old cute boy that turns into an adorable, cuddly werewolf), and I have to say, there are some resemblances between him and Dolfje.


Costume #1
got thrown in a corner because it didn't fit properly.....










Costume #2
Is still in use, but is too hot, and isn't good enough according to mr. Bob...
Plans for #3 are on the drawing board....







Werewolf Dolfje is tired because he has been up and about ALL night...




Fenna with her moustache pillow case project, looking like Frieda :-)






I ALWAYS like it at the coast. Even when it is cloudy, husband dear is suffering from kidney stones, and I am suffering from back pains. The children love it at the coast. Sand castles, ice-cream, beach life, sea, bodyboarding (OK, Fenna didn't like it to be whirled over in the surf) and low temperatures, so no heat and sun that keep you tranquil, but time to get out and walk, bike and have fun.


And enjoy hot chocolate and pots of tea to warm up





But one must not forget to let the children go on a treasure hunt at the Kristall Galerie!!

!





 





Or go to the aquarium and try to catch some fish...







No, you're not allowed to go in and swim with the fish, dear Fenna.....





Don't forget it is Oma's birthday! Let's have some cake to celebrate her special day!!!!
(and leave it to the birds if it is too big for you)




Have fun in the sand..... building castles, being a mermaid, and being a shark!!












and most importantly, relax and enjoy the beautiful scenery :)










Wishing you a lovely day!

Biiiiiiig hug,






Wednesday, 6 February 2013

The angry child!

Sometimes, the Universe is full of surprises and gifts, and oh my, I am so grateful for this morning's eye-opener!!!!

I've been going through some issues, and I needed a lot of time for myself for that. But I guess I should know by now, that if I want to change something, it will change....... BIG TIME!!!







About a week ago, I took the book "Hands of Light, a guide to healing through the Human Energy Field" by Barbara Ann Brenna, out of the cupboards to browse through it. It opened on a page with different directions for a pendulum, and the meaning of those directions.

 I was very interested, but somehow (?!) I didn't have time for it then. I remember myself picking up the book a couple of times, and it opened at the same page every time, and I knew I wanted to get to it...... sometime.........

Sometime, when the children were not so demanding and when I would be home alone, and all the other things occupying my time were out of the way....

I was very good at avoiding the last couple of weeks.....

But, after taking the bull by the horns on something a few days ago, I was ready to stop avoiding things. This morning was as good as it gets, and I took the book, and my pendulum and I thought I was getting ready to play around a bit with both of them...

Guess again dear Esther, because even before I had the pendulum in my hand, my eye caught some words underneath the figure,"shoulder blades (4B)" and it got me hook, line and sinker..... (yeah, I know, some things just do :-) )

I knew I had to read that!

I knew, that was about me!


I continued reading about a person that is unable to reach out for what she wants, that she will remain passive when aggressive action is called for. This person will wait for someone else to do it, or will wait for the storm to pass over. That she is not able to stand up for her rights, and remains passive under the false pretense of humility. That she is afraid to be aggressive, usually due to some very deep images about what is means to be aggressive ....








This is a good book, so there was more to explain :-)

One explanation was that the person most probably had a very aggressive caretaker who would overpower or humiliate the child every time she reached out for what she wanted (Oh my, we've got a situation here!).

This convinced her that reaching out for what she wanted was not a good way to actually get what she wanted. She would search for ways to get around that in order to get what she wanted (Oh yes).

It also explained that under the passivity, a very hostile aggressive component is hidden that would like to blast out feelings without restraint (Hell yes!).

So, yes, you've got me there. I feel like I'm about to piss my pants when I have to stand up for myself, and I will take all the changes I get, to avoid situations like that. I rather go around the block to get what I want, then express my wishes, ideas, or needs. I will step aside in the presence of others and I am scared to ask another person for something....

And yes, I can feel so much aggression stored away in my body, so much anger, I sometimes have to kick my legs because of the uncomfortable feeling inside of me.








With this, comes the need to control, and, yes again, I always got a safe feeling whenever I thought I was in control.  Not only in control of myself, but also in control of others....

These words from the book, described exactly what I experienced during my childhood, and what I am processing right now.


I know now, all this is not necessary any more.


Last weekend, for the first time in a difficult situation,  I stood up for myself. I had a very good, but not necessarily nice conversation with someone from my childhood. I didn't let myself get carried away in another person's drama, and I could express my needs and thoughts without, for a chance, being scared for the reaction.

I felt strong and good about myself after the conversation, and strangely enough, at peace. But, in the days after the call, I felt tired, and something was still nibbling away inside me. Reading these words from the book earlier, made the pieces of the puzzle fall together, and I know now, how to continue....















I will let go of a lot of crap, and walk up straight, with a big smile on my face. Knowing that whenever I give myself some love, you will receive some love too.







Have a wonderful, beautiful and lovely day dear you!

Lots of love,





Wednesday, 9 January 2013

HOT


Just think of a scream full of frustration, and then you'll hear me screaming right now.

I feel hot, overheated, irritable, frustrated, and yes, I feel like screaming. If it wasn't for three people sleeping in my house, I would 've..........


I know,.......

This all happens for a reason!
And I am really grateful for this opportunity for me to grow...........

But, I DO NOT LIKE FEELING LIKE THIS!!!!!

Because now, I think of myself as a bad person, because nice people never feel hot, overheated, irritable and frustrated ........ do they?


What a load of crap!


Feeling like this, doesn't make me a good or bad person. What I do with these feelings, and how I respond/or not respond to these feelings determines whether I am good or bad. And actually, not even that. It just shows what kind of person I am in that moment. And that needs no judging......



aaaaaaaah,

That feels much better.

Ha, I even feel a smile creeping up on my face :-)

Ah, yes, ja, it is growing bigger and bigger

Oh my, did I hear a giggle there.




Come to think of it, actually,
Today was a great day!

You know,

I started an online seminar and watched the first session this morning with my dear friend Jutta.

I discovered that one of the coffee shops with playground is open again, and it was nice to stay there for some time while the children had fun playing around.

I loved watching the children during their swim class this afternoon. They had so much fun with their wonderful, patient, teachers, and they got out of the water, jumping and running around, with big smiles on their faces!

There was a real rain shower in the late afternoon, that caused the temperature to drop dramatically, bringing some real freshness over me.

After dinner, while doing the dishes the children asked if we could go for a ride on the bike, instead of going to bed...... We went for a bike ride, and it was so lovely to go with them. Feeling the fresh breeze on my skin, hearing the stories of the children, watching the nice colors in the sky.....

Live is good!

Enjoy a lovely day dear people.
You are gorgeous!

Biiiiiiig hug





Sunday, 30 December 2012

Create creative creativity

I've always known that drawing and being creative can have a very therapeutic effect on ones life.

And now that I do some painting, drawing, and collage on a more regular basis, I'm flying through certain issues that have been there since........ well, as long as I can remember.

In the beginning I loved collage. During visual journaling class, there were two art teachers in the group, which was quite intimidating for me. It took me a while, to get the acrylics and brushes onto paper, but now, I love it (and if I don't like what I've done, I can just go over it with something else, Yeah!).

Here are some pages from the journal

Collage.......
Pick a color, or an emotion, or just choose some nice pictures. 
Get a pile of magazines, a pair of scissors and some glue.
Bob and Fenna like to join me when I'm doing this :-)






 










Then some first attempts with paint and collage
Maybe choose the letters of your name as a theme, or a poem you like, or just get the media your hand goes to and start with something and see where it goes.....

 




 


Fingerprints, paints, marker, crayons, left hand drawings, anything goes :-)

Just go.........

and have fun!











 



Wishing you a lovely, creative, fun day!

Big hug!



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